Tonight I had my third-to-last practice before Nationals. My head was not in the game. I kept catching myself off time with stroke seat because my brain kept going off on rabbit trails. Angry, I’d mentally chastise myself and focus on the “AIRHEAD” strip on stroke’s visor until another little thought would spook my brain off and running ahead. I rowed terribly. I really was rowing like an “AIRHEAD.”
The last two days have been mentally and emotionally draining. I’ve done irresponsible things. Plus, right now is all about sorting out the small details ahead of Nationals–and the big ones too. In my haste, I’ve messed up, made errors, hurt people.
And there all these preparation questions. For example, how will our boats get there if the trailer isn’t repaired in time? If our trailer is back, who drives it over? When? How do I get the racks there? Who will help me assemble them?
I have a long list on my phone of details to take care of, both rowing-related and not. The house must be cleaned ahead of guests coming in town. Meals for the week must be carefully planned ahead of time. Work hours must be logged in advance of the three days off. Job interviews must be scheduled around the regatta. I’m afraid of forgetting some important detail.
My weight is good–143 today! Sleep has been terrible. My mind wanders at night until I finally drift off around midnight only to be rudely awoken at 4:58 a.m. Yes, those two minutes matter. I can’t sleep during the day because I want to sleep at night or because I have different tasks to take care of. I’ve had coffee twice this week in an attempt to stay awake. I rarely drink coffee. On Monday the jolt of caffeine made my whole face tingle. My workout routine is down to rowing. No weightlifting, no erging. I feel like a lazy slob, and my knee still hurts.
All that said, I can’t believe the big day is seven days away. I’m looking forward to seeing the regatta island at Benderson Park again. I once drove by everyday and could see the progress, but it’s been weeks since I’ve seen Benderson Park in person. I hope the wave attenuation system is in place; the venue tends to be windy whenever I compete in regattas there. With the nod to host World Rowing Championships in 2017, the venue has been all over the news.
Tomorrow is my last pre-dawn practice. I can’t say I’m sad about that.